Dec 20, 2011

Blast From The Past: North Korea

North 'Vin Diesel' Korea
Editor’s Note: Guest Blogger Poticklly occasionally goes back into his old days of online journaling and posts entries that pertain to pop culture.  Given the recent death of Kim Jong-il and the possible craziness that could be going on over there in North Korea, here are Poticklly’s thoughts in regards to North Korea as it pertaines to the classic Vin Diesel film, The Pacifier, and North Korea's WMDs. Just a forewarning, the Poticklly of the past was kind of a little bitch.

I saw the new Vin Diesel movie

I went to see it with [redacted]. This movie sucked hardcore, but, sadly, I enjoyed it. It was
so bad it was funny.

So, anyway, they made some North Koreans the enemy in the movie, which is so stupid given our situation with them right now. You've got a give a hand to North Korea, though - they love for us to hate them and they know how to get our attention (from now on I am going to talk about North Korea as the whole country was an old oriental woman, so stay with me).

I mean, the US was all wrapped up in the Middle East when North Korea was all like “Hey, don't forget about me. I'm a badass old granny too. I've got WMDs you've never seen, and I know how to use them."

She is just begging for our attention. Lay off, Old Lady Korea; don't you think the USA is deep enough in shitake mushrooms because we couldn't find Weapons of Mass Destruction in Saddam's crib?  The next thing you know, we'll be up in Old Lady Korea's teepee and she'll be like "Sorry, I dont have any WMDs, but would you like some General TSO's chicken?"

And a post, from later that year:

So, anyway, I really do not have much to write about, except that Old Lady Korea is planning on doing some WMD testing again. Seriously, what is up with that old bitch! I mean, seriously. I had just forgotten about her and I was getting on with my life. I was beginning to think that she was lying and I could live without the fear of her bombin' my ass. I just do not get it. If she tested these things in secret, it would be a lot more surprising. Old Lady Korea shouldn't be like, "Suck on that, Father America. We's gots the Ws, the Ms, and the Ds, and there ain't nuttin' yous can do abouts it."

I think it’s what we don't know that builds the anticipation. If there was maybe a rumor going around that that old tightwad had some weapons then maybe Father America would be a little more scared. He would be all like, "Dammit!" Then he would call up that frigid witch Russia and say "Hey Russia, you heard anything about Old Lady Korea and the WMDs. You better be careful, ‘cause she is right on your ass!"  See how much a rumor can accomplish, and so easily. It's a lot better, right? I can't hear you!

*Pause for Response*

That is what I am talking about. I am glad you agree.

Hah, Saddam! Priceless
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