Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 9: Procrastinator Edition

Hello there, dear readers. I haven't written a legit blog post in almost two months, and the ratio of movies I've seen vs. movies I've reviews has gotten impressively large. The main reason behind that is that I was a producer on a television series for most of April and May, which meant most of my free time was spent thinking about one specific TV show rather than writing about a myriad TV shows and movies.  To rectify that, I present condensed reviews of many of the recent releases I've imbibed. Should you HIT the theater to watch them, or maybe MISS them entirely. The only way to know is to read on!!

Age of Adaline

Starring: Blake Lively, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn, and Harrison Ford

Time goes by so slowly
for those who wait.

The Story: After a car crash and a freak electrocution, Adaline (Lively) is dismayed to find out that she can't age.  Afraid of what the government might do to her if they find out, she continually changes her identity and runs away from any kind of attachment. Her only confidant is her daughter (Ellen Burstyn), who Adaline must watch age while she stays the same.

Pros: It's an interesting story, and it's well-acted. Blake Lively convincingly portrays a 100+ year-old in a 20-something body.

Cons: The narration is clunky and unnecessary, and the film's attempts to scientifically explain Adaline's condition only makes her condition seem even more ludicrous. And, despite glimpses of her past, the story stays mostly in the present, which deprives the audience of seeing Adaline as she makes her way through life in the 1900s. Instead, we watch a tepid love story between two very attractive people, one of whom has a secret. Oooooo.

Consensus: This movie is totally worth a $1 rental in Redbox, and it's not a bad way to spend two hours if you can't find anything good on Netflix. Still, it's totally MISS-able in theaters.

'She's All That': M. Night Shyamalan's Hidden Twists

It was revealed yesterday that M. Night Shyamalan, writer/director of hit films like The Sixth Sense and Signs and non-hits like After Earth, The Last Airbender, Lady in the Water, etc., is also the ghost-writer of the hit 90s teen rom-com She's All That. WHOA! Apparently Shyamalan has had quite the ghost-writing career, and this might only be the first in a long list of reveals.

For the uninitiated, She's All That tells the story of Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze, Jr.), who, after getting dumped by his crazy girlfriend Taylor Vaughan, makes a bet (with his friends Dulé Hill and Paul Walker, natch) that he can turn any girl into prom queen. The girl they choose is dumpy, half-orphan Laney Boggs (Rachel Leigh Cook), who is a painter/falafel saleswoman with a spunky personality and maybe more than inner beauty hiding behind her glasses. Maybe they fall in love, maybe both learn a little bit more about themselves along the way, and maybe it all ends with a choreographed dance number, declarations of affection, and nude graduations. You know, the usual.

But what if we have been looking at She's All That the wrong way this whole time? As I watched the movie last night, knowing now that the master of twists was at the helm, I started to notice the groundwork for many secret plot points and reveals that probably had to be edited out for time (and to make the movie more palatable). Nothing is quite what it seems. So, herewith are the (completely reasonable) hidden twists in She's All That that I just figured out:

Film Review: Fast Five

Fast Five blew through theaters this weekend raking up over $86 Million and the honor of the highest grossing Universal release in its entire history, beating out The Lost World: Jurassic Park by about $14 Million! Millions of people came in droves to support the oft-forgotten "Booty and Tricked Out Cars" Coalition, and I was among them. Let me just say that this movie is AMAZING! It's a non-stop, ridiculous adrenaline ride that sucks you in quickly and doesn't let go until the very last frames -- even the credits sequence is fun. Of course, it is a ridiculous movie, and the acting is so bad that you almost can't look at the screen, but you also can't look away. After the jump, check out my look back the the most awesome things about Fast Five (with a few minor Spoilers from Fast 1-4)!

(Click to Enlarge -- It's Totally Worth It)