Dec 31, 2012

My Parents Review 'Pitch Perfect'

My family loves two things unconditionally: hanging out with each other, and watching movies. So, when my family descends on New York City for Christmas and New Year's Eve, we do a lot of both. This weekend, we watched Pitch Perfect (along with a variety of other films), a film about growing up, college, and a cappella singing competitions (natch). It was produced and spearheaded by Elizabeth Banks, who we here at Tableau Your Mind love so very much.

Since my parents were engaging in spirited debate after the movie, I thought I would share the conversation that followed between them. For the record, I really like this movie. I think that there are some tonal problems, but overall I was completely charmed by it. Here are my parents thoughts:

Mom: I loved it. Other teenage movies are so juvenile. This one doesn't feel as teenage-y. It's a a little more adult. The premise is not so different than other movies; it follows the same beats. I enjoyed the girls. I enjoyed all the girls. Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) - I like the way she used her body. She puts herself out there, makes her body part of the comedy. She's comfortable in her body, she's not self-conscious. She's hilarious. 

Dad: Overall I did not like the movie. I like the singing - top notch. 

Mom: I loved the songs. You said you have the soundtrack? I want that.

Dad: But you don't know who the market they were playing to. At first I thought it would be a family movie, but then I thought it was trying to be crude and crass, like, what's that movie? Bumped up? Knocked up! They missed out on the family audience with all the sex and the dicks, and it's not funny enough for people that like that kind of sophomoric and obvious humor. It's a poorly designed movie. The plot was just sort of thrown together. The only character development was with the magician character (Ben Platt).

Mom: I quite liked the magician.

DadHe was the best developed of all the male parts, which was unfortunate, since he was such a small part. Still,  it was nice that they worked on his character, because it came around and was important later. But the guy in the club that had to leave (Adam DeVine)? It didn't make any sense. They could have gotten someone else.

Mom: Hmm...

Dad: Seriously, who would you buy this movie for? Funny-wise, it wasn't that funny; family-wise, it wasn't right for the family. Dancing and singing-wise, it was beautiful, but everything else fell apart. It felt like a bunch of people throwing something together over the weekend.  Plus, so much of the movie hinged on whether the audience has seen The Breakfast Club. If you haven't seen it, Beca's (Anna Kendrick) character change doesn't really make sense.

Mom: For a senior citizen like him, it doesn't work.

Dad: You want her to be involved in The Breakfast Club. I don't know the ending, I don't know what she's reacting to.  There are too many leaps.

Mom: That would be showing too much. They have to focus on the real movie, not the movie within the movie. Even of you haven't seen the movie, you can tell that it's a powerful ending.


Dad: It just didn't work for me.


Ratings:

Dad: Hated it

Mom: Liked it

Dec 20, 2012

Windswept Liz Lemon [30 Rock]

We're kind of sleepwalking through 30 Rock Thursday Rock right now, both because it is the middle of the holiday season and because we haven't had heat in our apartment in 5 days. So, here is a picture of a windswept, hair-tousled Liz Lemon to tide you over until we have something more substantive to post. You're welcome.

She's the 40-something-year-old Daria we always wanted.

Dec 14, 2012

Sarah Silverman PSA: Be Bro-Choice

We here at Tableau Your Mind are not political. We would love to be, but when we try to learn about politics we end up more confused and/or bored. But we do love Sarah Silverman, who is pretty outspoken politically. And we also love this video, if only because of the last three words that Sarah Silverman says. Wait for it:




To Blow You! That's basically an endorsement of this blog!  Hooray!

Dec 13, 2012

Great 30 Rock Moments

What do you do with the Pop-Tart?
There's no new 30 Rock tonight, but we made a commitment (basically to ourselves) that we would celebrate 30 Rock each Thursday on Tableau Your Mind. Since we're pretty tired from playing as hard as we work, we thought we would share a few of our favorite quotes from the show. Without really meaning to, all of these quotes are from the 2nd Season, so it doesn't necessarily represent a great cross-section of the show. Still, it's fun to remember:

"What do you do with the Pop-Tart?"

In the episode "Greenzo" Liz has the misfortune of walking in on Pete in her apartment, cheating on his wife.. with his wife. The scene that follows is classic 30 Rock, highlighting Liz's issues with marriage, sex, trust, and, most importantly, food.


"I only act out because I want your love. Dyno-mite!"

"Rosemary's Baby" is arguably one of the strongest episodes of the entire series, and it would be great if only for Carrie Fisher's guest spot as a terrifying glimpse into Liz's future. But then, in one of the most classic, racially charged and genius moments in the show, GE executive Jack Donaghy 'impersonates' multiple members of Tracy Jordan's family (including Tracy himself) during a therapy session. He's doing it ostensibly to keep Tracy from dog fighting, but once he gets going his impressions take on a life of their own. 



"I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin. You'll ALL have chins!"

Have you noticed how surprisingly weak-chinned the male cast of 30 Rock is? After this sandwich-theft-inspired threat in "Sandwich Day", we can't stop noticing.




There are plenty other great quotes and moments from 30 Rock's seven seasons that we absolutely love, but these are the three that we go to when times are rough, when hope is gone, and when it looks like things will never get better. Basically, it's the three moments we will play over and over again once the show goes off the air for good.

Dec 12, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man May Not Be So Amazing

We were perhaps a little overly exclamatory in our review of The Amazing Spider-Man. Maybe we were clouded by our love of Emma Stone (she almost made us like Crazy Stupid Love after all), or we were too busy marveling at Andrew Garfield's gravity-defying hair (he and Ben Whishaw need to have babies).

Whatever the reason for our lapse in judgment (we gave the film an 8/10), there are now a slew of videos that quite rightly put the film in its place and have taught us a valuable lesson about hindsight:

Dec 7, 2012

Emma Stone Looks Terrible [Rose McGowan]

Guest Blogger Gemma Fart-a-ton has a message for you for the holidays, 
and that message is enclosed in one very scary face:


Rose goes outside as a mix of Christmas and Halloween
and ends up as something in between: A Thanksgiving Turkey

This weird amalgamation of Emma Stone, Lindsay Lohan, 
and Courtney Love is Rose McGowan. 
She used to be one of my favorite actresses
and used to have a face that looked like this

Dec 6, 2012

TGS with Tracy Jordan: A Hellscape [30 Rock]

It's a lot to deal with.
Last week on 30 Rock Thursday Rock, we made an all-inclusive list of Liz's love life and celebrated her marriage to Criss Chros. Rather than pair that with a list of Jack Donaghy's ladies, we thought we would turn instead to Liz's professional life.

As Head Writer for TGS with Tracy Jordan, much of Liz's job involves wrangling the two (sometimes three) leads of the show, each with their own brand of extreme narcissism. Tracy leans more toward pure crazy and bouts of ennui, while Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) is a fun mix of sexually conniving trickster and paranoid baby. As much as 30 Rock is about

Dec 5, 2012

Jamie Lee Curtis: A National Treasure?

Jamie Lee Curtis is a national treasure.

Here are some facts about Jamie Lee Curtis that prove this:

Jamie Lee Curtis was borne of Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh's lovemaking.

Jamie Lee Curtis played a prostitute in Trading Places.

Jamie Lee Curtis has been in many scary movies which we have never seen, but we applaud her for her screaming accomplishments.

This wordplay is solid.
Jamie Lee Curtis shills for yogurt that helps you poop.

 Jamie Lee Curtis is married to Christopher Guest.

Jamie Lee Curtis once switched bodies with Lindsay Lohan for a movie.

Jamie Lee Curtis is a little smug.

Jamie Lee Curtis would do well to be a little less full of herself and stop doing that thing where she purses her lips when she talks down to you or nods a little too enthusiastically in interviews about living your best life.

Jamie Lee Curtis, we get it, you're friends with Rob Reiner. Get over it.

Jamie Lee Curtis is a national treasure.
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