Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 8: 4th of July Edition

You guys! Here in America, it's Independence Day, which means it's time to celebrate 'Merica the only way we know how: drinking too much, eating a variety of meats, prank-calling anyone named Tim Howard, and spending a long weekend watching movies. To help you make the decision on what movie to see, I have spent the last few days watching a crap-load of movies. Like, I don't know how I do it. It's staggering. And since you can't spend this whole weekend in a cinema, I'mma tell you which ones to HIT the theater to see, and which ones you can MISS:

Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 3!

Tableau Your Mind reviews movies fast so that you can get on with your day!

Dark Shadows

Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter

do the best they can with what they're given

The Story: Escaped from a coffin after a two-century long imprisonment, vampire Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) seeks to reclaim his family's good name and take down the witch (Eva Green) who cursed him to haunt the night.

Pros: The ladies in this film totally kill it. Helena Bonham Carter and Michelle Pfeiffer are amazing, but MVP goes to Eva Green, who is as fierce and charismatic a villain as has ever