Sep 14, 2014

Pray for Gwyneth Paltrow

Some old white lady was really mean to her.

In an interview with Net-a-Porter's Porter Magazine, Martha Stewart had a lot of great, frank opinions about subjects as diverse as Lean In and Taylor Schilling's performance in Orange is the New Black. However, it was perhaps most refreshing to hear her opinions on Gwyneth Paltrow, a wonderful woman who everyone in Hollywood seems terrified of. While the world recoils at her out-of-touch advice and breathy judgmentalism, celebrities only have wonderful things to say about her. Not Martha Stewart! Speaking about Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP franchise, Stewart says:

She just needs to be quiet. She's a movie star. 
If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart.

Adrift in a mist of criticism
Poor, poor Gwyneth Paltrow.

...and for fun, some Alternate Headlines:

  • Convicted Felon Throws Shade at Bucket of Elbows
  • Blonde on Blonde Crime
  • Someone Still Considers Gwyneth Paltrow a Movie 'Star'
  • Person Ana Gasteyer Used to Impersonate is A**hole to Star of Country Strong.
  • Self-Made Millionaire Gives Constructive Criticism to Blythe Danner's Daughter
  • Single Mothers Don't Get Along
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