On Pranking: A Post for George Clooney

These are the victims,

I'm going to keep this short. George Clooney - stop pranking people. You're a grown-ass man (and, from the rumors, a grown ass-man). I just listened to an interview wherein you talk about getting back at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for making fun of you at the Golden Globes. You were trying to make it seem 'in good fun', but, when you opened your mouth, all I could hear was a whiny little b*tch who's upset that someone had the audacity to make fun of him.

I remember when I first read about your pranking adventures on the set of Ocean's 11. They sounded hilarious, a fun reminder that celebrities like to have a good time. But, at the time, I was in my teens and you were in your (late) 30s. You're 52 now, and you've been pranking for far too long. It's time to stop pranking people. It makes you seem like a doofus, like you've never progressed past being a 8-year-old, plastic-wrapping the toilet seat and laughing as your aunt, Rosemary Clooney, pooped all over herself.

George, you may think that your pranking makes you seem like a fun playboy, a Gatsby-esque figure, gallivanting and cavorting and what have you. It doesn't, and you need to quit before one of your pranks goes too far and your girlfriend's husband's mistress ends up dead. That's a literary reference that I can make because I am a grown-up who doesn't prank people. Less and less people are going to enjoy your Michael Clayton-esque films when you keep sounding like a member of Jackass.

Stop it. No. Bad George Clooney. Bad.