Sep 19, 2012

Point/Counter Point: Kristen Stewart

Hello. I am the main blogger here at Tableau Your Mind (one of the few that make up the collective 'we'), and I am a pretty big fan of Kristen Stewart. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I don't care. However, I do realize that not everyone feels the same way as me, and I always want to at least appear to be a fair-minded person. In an effort to do just that, to present both sides equally, I have enlisted Guest Blogger Jennifer Love Bacon to present her different opinion of K-Stew alongside  my own. Presented below is a conversation that hopefully sheds some light on what makes her so maddening, so brilliant, so hated, and so loved [Editor's Note: this conversation occurred before Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson got back together]:

Jennifer Love Bacon: [looking at the picture to the left] Hahaha. She's heinous.

Tableau: She's amazing. She's so effed up. I love it.

JLB: She can't even make eye contact in the picture …she's a disgrace to celebrities.

T: I didn't realize we were going to get into the debate so quickly.

JLB: Well, catch up.

T: Okay, well let me say that I was trying to show in the picture that Stewart is just completely pure. It's almost like she doesn't understand how to act in front of the camera - She's unfettered by the modern understanding of reality television. She's beautiful, because she's so incredibly flawed.

JLB: BOO! I say 'boo' to that whole argument. What, was she raised in a cave? How do you not know how to accept an award or talk to Jimmy Fallon? She's an actress – why can't she just mimic a normal person?

T: I know, that's what makes her so fascinating. She's an enigma! She's edgy and punk, but she's a Balenciaga spokesperson. She's an actress, but she can't act naturally in real life. Now, that might have something to do with her lack of acting ability...


T: Although, she wasn't so bad in the Snow White and the Huntsman movie. She wasn't good or anything, but it at least played to her strengths. She was able to convincingly act uncomfortable for the majority of the film.

JLB: She played that dirty girl in Into the Wild…like a physically dirty person, not sexy, not dirrty. She tries to be sexy, but she isn’t. She just looks gross, like she hasn’t showered ever. Eww.

T: So maybe she's best when she's acting like herself: uncomfortable, awkward, and dirty. And you're right about the the very least, something needs to be done with her hair. Maybe post-Pattinson she can learn to start bathing regularly?

JLB: I don't think he has anything to do with it. I think their whole relationship is a sham. She's awful; no man of his stature would actually date her. It was probably arranged by an agent or something.

T:  Wait, "his stature?" You're a Pattinson fan?

JLB: In a surprise twist - yes!

T: But, if you flip the gender on all of the points you made about Stewart,  they're basically arguments that  Pattinson haters use…TWIST indeed.

JLB: Well, I also just don't like women

T: HAHAHA. Well, it's because they aren't funny.

JLB: Right.

Tableau: Pro-Stewart Points: 6
Jennifer: Anti-Stewart Points: 7

Winner: Anti-Stewart

Well, the numbers don't lie. Even though, in my heart of hearts, I love and am fascinated by her, K-Stew is apparently the worst.
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