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| Everyone reunites for a fun game of Quidditch and fan service. |
Still, it's not without its charms. Under the guise of Skeeter's anti-feminist pen, Rowling gets in a few good points about how journalism tends to undermine the success of women in the workplace (Hermione and Ginny are both chided for their devotion to their jobs). Plus, Viktor Krum gets some more time in the sun after basically being forgotten after Book 4, which also leaves room for some strangely dropped-in gay rumors (or rumours) about Krum and Potter. Additionally, we learn that Teddy Lupin is basically the Prince Harry of the Potter clan, which basically just gives me flashbacks to how poorly J.K. Rowling wrote about puberty in Book 5. Rowling also gives a few hints at a possible future story, with a mysterious scar on Harry's cheek being a catalyst for more questions than answers. Really, though, it's all about the promise of a new book from Skeeter on July 31, an obviously exciting date for anyone familiar with the books, and a possible clue that Rowling's next novel may return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Could there be a new HP novel to grace bookstores and home libraries? Only time will tell, but it's certainly fun to hope. In the meantime, let's read through the article, to see what other clues we might suss out about the lives of our favorite witches and wizards (I have added emphasis where appropriate):
Dumbledore's Army Reunites
at Quidditch World Cup Final
By the Daily Prophet's
Gossip Correspondent, Rita Skeeter
There are celebrities – and
then there are celebrities. We've seen many a famous face from the wizarding
world grace the stands here in the Patagonian Desert – Ministers and
Presidents, Celestina Warbeck, controversial American wizarding band The
Bent-Winged Snitches – all have caused flurries of excitement, with crowd
members scrambling for autographs and even casting Bridging Charms to reach the
VIP boxes over the heads of the crowd.
But when word swept the
campsite and stadium that a certain gang of infamous wizards (no longer the
fresh-faced teenagers they were in their heyday, but nevertheless recognisable)
had arrived for the final, excitement was beyond anything yet seen. As the
crowd stampeded, tents were flattened and small children mown down. Fans from
all corners of the globe stormed towards the area where members of Dumbledore's
Army were rumoured to have been sighted, desperate above all else for a glimpse
of the man they still call the Chosen One.
The Potter family and the
rest of Dumbledore's Army have been given accommodation in the VIP section of
the campsite, which is protected by heavy charms and patrolled by Security
Warlocks. Their presence has ensured large crowds along the cordoned area, all
hoping for a glimpse of their heroes. At 3pm today they got their wish when, to
the accompaniment of loud screams, Potter took his young sons James and Albus
to visit the players' compound, where he introduced them to Bulgarian Seeker
Viktor Krum.
About to turn 34, there are
a couple of threads of silver in the famous Auror's black hair, but he
continues to wear the distinctive round glasses that some might say are better
suited to a style-deficient twelve-year-old. The famous lightning scar has
company: Potter is sporting a nasty cut over his right cheekbone. Requests for
information as to its provenance merely produced the usual response from the
Ministry of Magic: 'We do not comment on the top secret work of the Auror
department, as we have told you no less than 514 times, Ms. Skeeter.' So what
are they hiding? Is the Chosen One embroiled in fresh mysteries that will one
day explode upon us all, plunging us into a new age of terror and mayhem?
Or does his injury have a
more humble origin, one that Potter is desperate to hide? Has his wife perhaps
cursed him? Are cracks beginning to show in a union that the Potters are
determined to promote as happy? Should we read anything into the fact that his
wife Ginevra has been perfectly happy to leave her husband and children behind
in London
As their devoted fans and
followers will remember, Potter and Krum competed against each other in the
controversial Triwizard Tournament, but apparently there are no hard feelings,
as they embraced upon meeting (what really happened in that maze? Speculation
is unlikely to be quelled by the warmth of their greeting). After half an
hour's chat, Potter and his sons returned to the campsite where they socialised
with the rest of Dumbledore's Army until the small hours.
In the next tent are
Potter's two closest associates, the ones who know everything about him and yet
have always refused to talk to the press. Are they afraid of him, or is it
their own secrets they are afraid will leak out, tarnishing the myth of He Who
Could Not Be Named's defeat? Now married, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger
were with Potter almost every step of the way. Like the rest of Dumbledore's
Army, they fought in the Battle of Hogwarts and no doubt deserve the plaudits
and awards for bravery heaped upon them by a grateful wizarding world.
In the immediate aftermath
of the battle Weasley, whose famous ginger hair appears to be thinning
slightly, entered into employment with the Ministry of Magic alongside Potter,
but left only two years later to co-manage the highly successful wizarding joke
emporium Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Was he, as he stated at the time, 'delighted
to assist my brother George with a business I've always loved'? Or had he had
his fill of standing in Potter's shadow? Was the work of the Auror Department
too much for a man who has admitted that the destruction of He Who Could Not Be
Named's Horcruxes 'took its toll' on him? He shows no obvious signs of mental illness
from a distance, but the public is not allowed close enough to make a proper
assessment. Is this suspicious?
Hermione Granger, of course,
was always the femme fatale of the group. Press reports of the time revealed
that as a teenager she toyed with the young Potter's affections before being
seduced away by the muscular Viktor Krum, finally settling for Potter's
faithful sidekick. After a meteoric rise to Deputy Head of the Department of
Magical Law Enforcement, she is now tipped to go even higher within the
Ministry, and is also mother to son, Hugo, and daughter, Rose. Does Hermione
Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No – look at her hair.)
Then there are those members
of Dumbledore's Army who receive slightly less publicity than Potter, Weasley
and Granger (are they resentful? Almost certainly). Neville Longbottom, now a
popular Herbology teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is
here in Patagonia with his wife Hannah. Until
recently the pair lived above the Leaky Cauldron in London Ogden'
Last of the ringleaders of
Dumbledore's Army is, of course, Luna Lovegood (now married to Rolf Scamander,
swarthy grandson of celebrated Magizoologist Newt). Still delightfully
eccentric, Luna has been sweeping around the VIP section in robes composed of
the flags of all sixteen qualifying countries. Her twin sons are 'at home with
grandpa'. Is this a euphemism for 'too disturbed to be seen in public'? Surely
only the unkindest would suggest so.
Sundry other members of the
Army are here, but it is on these six that most interest is focused. Wherever
there is a red head one may make an educated guess that it belongs to a
Weasley, but it is difficult to tell whether it is George (wealthy co-manager
of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes), Charlie (dragon wrangler, still unmarried – why?)
or Percy (Head of the Department of Magical Transportation – it's his fault if
the Floo Network's too busy!). The only one who is easy to recognise is Bill
who, poor man, is grievously scarred from an encounter with a werewolf and yet
somehow (enchantment? Love potion? Blackmail? Kidnap?) married the undeniably
beautiful (though doubtless empty-headed) Fleur Delacour.
Word is that we shall see
these and other members of Dumbledore's Army in the VIP boxes at the final,
adding to the glitz and razzmatazz of a gala occasion. Let us hope that the
behaviour of two of their younger hangers-on does not embarrass them, heaping
shame on those who have previously brought honour to the name of wizard.
One always hesitates to
invade the privacy of young people, but the fact is that anyone closely
connected with Harry Potter reaps the benefits and must pay the penalty of
public interest. No doubt Potter will be distressed to know that his
sixteen-year-old godson Teddy Lupin – a lanky half-werewolf with bright blue
hair – has been behaving in a way unbefitting of wizarding royalty since
arriving on the VIP campsite. It might be asking too much that the always-busy
Potter keep a tighter rein on this wild boy, who was entrusted to his care by
his dying parents, but one shudders to think what will become of Master Lupin
without urgent intervention. Meanwhile, Mr and Mrs Bill Weasley might like to
know that their beautiful, blonde daughter Victoire seems to be attracted to
any dark corner where Master Lupin happens to be lurking. The good news is both
of them seem to have invented a method of breathing through their ears. I can
think of no other reason how they have survived such prolonged periods of what,
in my young day, was called 'snogging.'
