2015 Best Picture Nominees, Part 1 [Crazy White Men]

It's time again to look at the top films vying for the title of Best Picture at this year's Academy Awards. Like most years, the nominees are frighteningly white and maddeningly mediocre, but there are a few gems that have slipped into the running. Plus, no turd is without its merits.

So, I'm going to review the films up for the top prize, but I'm also going to look at some of the other movies that didn't quite make it.

First, let's turn our attention to the three nominated films that feature supremely angry, emotionally unstable white men:

My Judi Takes The Morning Train

Part of the fun of living in New York is celebrity-spotting. Though it is no Los Angeles when it comes to the ratio of Celebrities to Normals, New York does provide residents with a higher incidence of accidental run-ins: Jason Sudeikis eating behind you at a restaurant, Steve Buscemi passing you on the street after you just finished talking about The Big Lebowski, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal f*cking everywhere in Brooklyn back when they were dating. It's like constantly living in a magazine's Stars: They're Just Like Us section. 

Of course, that also means that you don't question it when you see a celebrity in a weird location. Of course Bebe Neuwirth is at the same crappy bodega in midtown as you are. Of course Ira Glass's dog is crapping on your stoop. So, when I got on the N train one morning and spotted my favorite celebrity, Dame Judi Dench, staring right at me, I didn't think twice about it. And sure, she was in a wig, and probably trying to keep a low-pro, but is it such a crime to casually take out a phone and snapped a quick pic of one of the greatest actors of our time? I think not! Of course, once I got to work and was fully awoken by my second cup of coffee, I realized that the picture I had taken was not of the star of Skyfall, but rather of a mean-looking old lady:

Still, I wasn't disappointed. Fake celebrity sightings just make it that much more exciting when you see an actual celebrity. Like when I sat next to Meg Ryan and Patti F*cking LuPone in Joe's Pub, or when I saw Rider Strong at a Ben & Jerry's. Plus, the Faux-di Dench (Clone-di Dench?) on the train was basically a doppelgänger for the Oscar winner. But, you know, Asian.