My Mom and I Review Some Movies and TV Shows

There's been a new addition to the Tableau family (that's a link to a generic baby, in case you don't know what a baby looks like), which means that, over the last month, my mother has been in my neck of the woods way more often than usual. And, since I don't really know how to communicate with people without talking about movies and television, my mom and I have been consuming a lot of pop culture together.  Here's a breakdown of some of the fluff we imbibed:

Cinderella (2015)

This live action adaptation of Disney's classic film adds some modern touches and nixes the songs.

Mom: The transformation scenes are amazing.

Tableau: When Cinderella and her mice and lizards are magically changed in time for the ball?

M: Yep. Compared to the other movies, you could actually see the changes happening. You can see the animals morphing into their human/horse counterparts, yet they still maintain elements of their original features. The lizards, especially.

T: The transformations scenes are both really beautiful, and Helena Bonham Carter as The Fairy Godmother is a lot of fun. She is certainly having a good time.

M: Cate Blanchett, too. She's over-acting in the best way. I also like that they show more of Cinderella with her mom (Hayley Atwell). 

T: It helps strengthen her character, and it helps to sell the idea that Cinderella would stay with her stepmother after her mother and father die, since her mother was all about being kind and courageous. How about Cinderella (Lily James) and Prince Charming (Richard Madden)? Do you buy their romance?

M: Meh. They are okay. Nothing to write home about.

My Judi Takes The Morning Train

Part of the fun of living in New York is celebrity-spotting. Though it is no Los Angeles when it comes to the ratio of Celebrities to Normals, New York does provide residents with a higher incidence of accidental run-ins: Jason Sudeikis eating behind you at a restaurant, Steve Buscemi passing you on the street after you just finished talking about The Big Lebowski, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal f*cking everywhere in Brooklyn back when they were dating. It's like constantly living in a magazine's Stars: They're Just Like Us section. 

Of course, that also means that you don't question it when you see a celebrity in a weird location. Of course Bebe Neuwirth is at the same crappy bodega in midtown as you are. Of course Ira Glass's dog is crapping on your stoop. So, when I got on the N train one morning and spotted my favorite celebrity, Dame Judi Dench, staring right at me, I didn't think twice about it. And sure, she was in a wig, and probably trying to keep a low-pro, but is it such a crime to casually take out a phone and snapped a quick pic of one of the greatest actors of our time? I think not! Of course, once I got to work and was fully awoken by my second cup of coffee, I realized that the picture I had taken was not of the star of Skyfall, but rather of a mean-looking old lady:

Still, I wasn't disappointed. Fake celebrity sightings just make it that much more exciting when you see an actual celebrity. Like when I sat next to Meg Ryan and Patti F*cking LuPone in Joe's Pub, or when I saw Rider Strong at a Ben & Jerry's. Plus, the Faux-di Dench (Clone-di Dench?) on the train was basically a doppelgänger for the Oscar winner. But, you know, Asian.

Quick Reviews: 2014 Best Picture Nominees, Part 1

In what has basically become a self-imposed tradition, it is now time for Tableau Your Mind to review the nine films up for Best Picture. I did this mostly for you – I didn't want to watch half of these movies. When the Academy first opened up the Best Picture race to (up to) 10 nominees, it seemed like a good idea. Movies that would have previously been relegated to other categories or completely forgotten were given a chance to shine. Last year's Beasts of the Southern Wild and Amour come to mind, as well as the heartbreaking Toy Story 3 a few years prior. But this year, with a few exceptions, it seems like the Best Picture race is almost completely full of the kinds of movies that are 'supposed' to be in the race, and very few of them feel fresh at all. In a year teeming with innovation and beautifully told movies, a lot of these nominees just feel silly. Why are we even looking at Captain Phillips while Frances Ha and The Kings of Summer are completely out of the race? Still, each of the nine movies nominated do contain moments of quality, and some are legitimately great movies. So, let's take a look at four  of the movies up for Best Picture (Dallas Buyers Club, Philomena, American Hustle, and Her) with a quick list of Pros, Cons, and my guess as to whether Best Picture is in their grasps (some minor spoilers, but nothing you wouldn't get from the trailer):

I'm In A Bit Of Creative Rut

I haven't been able to write a blog post in over a month. The words, they aren't coming. So, it's obviously time to...

TWERK IT OUT!!!!

 

 That's so twerking...

Disturbing, zeitgeisty twerking...

Parody twerking...

The zenith and nadir of twerking (even though it was staged)...

AND I'M BACK!!!

Thanks, Hulk Judi Dench!

You Wouldn't Like Judi Dench When She's Angry...

Based on this episode of the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast, wherein Scott Aukerman interviews Doug Benson, I made this photo of gamma-roided out Judi Dench. Because when Dench angry, Dench smash.

I may never understand why Doug Benson feels that the latest James Bond movie has too much Judi Dench in it, but at least I now know the appropriate reaction.

Skyfall Wins Outstanding British Film at BAFTAs

I was a little upset that Skyfall wasn't nominated for Best Film at the Oscars. It's not a ground-breaking film by any means, but it is remarkably good: swiftly told, well directed, and expertly acted. So, I was very happy to see it win Outstanding British Film at the BAFTAs last night. The big award of the night, Best Picture, went to Argo (with a Best Director award going to the Academy-jilted Ben Garner née Affleck), but the real news was that Skyfall beat fellow British film Les Miserables, which I pretty much hated.

So, YAY!

Film Review: Skyfall

I've been waiting a long time for this. It's time to review Skyfall!

Full disclosure here: My namesake is very closely tied to the James Bond franchise and my mother and father raised me to love all things Bond, so I may not be the most objective reviewer. So, yes, my real name is PussyGalore, and, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

Bond and Q deal with dangerous numbers

Let’s get some plot out of the way first. Basically, a mysterious company steals a list of all of the NATO operatives currently undercover in terrorist cells across the world from MI6. What they plan to do with it in anyone’s guess, but it sets up the action, the betrayal, and the butt-kickery that follows. If you've heard this plot before, it’s because it’s basically the set-up to the first Mission: Impossible movie. However, where the plot goes from the set-up in Istanbul is completely different. I don’t want to spoil any of the plot, since figuring it out is half the fun. Even the title of the movie is mysterious – what exactly is Skyfall? Is it a mission, a person, the feeling one gets while bungee jumping? It could be all manner of things, and the fun and interest is in the journey of