Good News, Everybody! [The Force Awakens]

Man, it seems like the world is heading to hell in a handbasket. Early winter is causing people to have Premature Seasonal Affective Disorder (or Pre-SAD). Interstellar was a beautiful bore of a film. Bill Cosby is probably a serial rapist. Kim Kardashian's attempts to 'break the internet' only resulted in the breaking of humanity's collective spirit. And Chris Brown still exists.

Still, it's not all bad news! There are some glimmers of hope on the horizon. When you're feeling down and out, let this news be your bridge over troubled waters:

This music video...

This music video is almost perfect. And it's a reminder that I still haven't seen Gone Girl yet.

Who Wore It Best?

HAHAHA...Just Kidding.
There's no way Taylor Swift can match Beyonce's allergic-to-pants game.


(Beyonce image via HERE)

My Judi Takes The Morning Train

Part of the fun of living in New York is celebrity-spotting. Though it is no Los Angeles when it comes to the ratio of Celebrities to Normals, New York does provide residents with a higher incidence of accidental run-ins: Jason Sudeikis eating behind you at a restaurant, Steve Buscemi passing you on the street after you just finished talking about The Big Lebowski, Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal f*cking everywhere in Brooklyn back when they were dating. It's like constantly living in a magazine's Stars: They're Just Like Us section. 

Of course, that also means that you don't question it when you see a celebrity in a weird location. Of course Bebe Neuwirth is at the same crappy bodega in midtown as you are. Of course Ira Glass's dog is crapping on your stoop. So, when I got on the N train one morning and spotted my favorite celebrity, Dame Judi Dench, staring right at me, I didn't think twice about it. And sure, she was in a wig, and probably trying to keep a low-pro, but is it such a crime to casually take out a phone and snapped a quick pic of one of the greatest actors of our time? I think not! Of course, once I got to work and was fully awoken by my second cup of coffee, I realized that the picture I had taken was not of the star of Skyfall, but rather of a mean-looking old lady:

Still, I wasn't disappointed. Fake celebrity sightings just make it that much more exciting when you see an actual celebrity. Like when I sat next to Meg Ryan and Patti F*cking LuPone in Joe's Pub, or when I saw Rider Strong at a Ben & Jerry's. Plus, the Faux-di Dench (Clone-di Dench?) on the train was basically a doppelgänger for the Oscar winner. But, you know, Asian.

2013 Golden Globes Wrap-Up

Well, the Golden Globes happened, and it was about as unruly and bonkers as a controlled night of self-flattery can be. Hayden Panettiere showed up and looked old, Daniel Day Lewis won and also did the E.T. finger, Anne Hathaway thanked someone for ‘the best string of yesterdays’ she has ever had, and Dog President stars Darcy St. Fudge and Damian Francisco were robbed. Tableau Your Mind is currently in India, so we enlisted the help of guest blogger Bro-sie the Riveter, who is in Seattle, so that we can represent the most easterly and westerly people watching the Golden Globes: