My Cousins Review 'Oz the Great and Powerful'

Oz the Great and Powerful

I really couldn't think of anything to say about Sam Raimi's Oz the Great and Powerful. Even after seeing it twice, I just feel kind of 'meh' about the whole thing. I think that the film had beautiful parts, that James Franco was inconsistently interesting, that the Tim-Burton-Alice-in-Wonderland aesthetic felt overplayed, and that Michelle Williams was lovely, but I couldn't figure out how to bring those ideas into a cohesive review. So, I enlisted my cousins (Ages 12 and 10, respectively) to review the film for me.  They are, as always, better at this than I am (MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW):

Liz Lemon's Relationships: A List [30 Rock]

Liz Lemon and her Many Men

Over the past seven seasons of 30 Rock, we've watched as Liz Lemon has worked to have it all: the perfect job, a great apartment, a plant/baby, and a man to share all of those things. And we have also watched as she has failed to get any of the things she wanted (baby steps, Liz). Then, beginning in Season 6, things started to line up for old Liz Lemon. She began renovations on her apartment, she started talking about babies, and she found someone that accepted all of her crazy. That man was Criss Chros, and tonight she’s going to make an honest man out of him and put a ring on it.

We don't know if this road will end in happiness or in failure (we assume a mixture of both), but we do know that the long journey to the altar/courthouse has included its fair share of romantic roadblocks for Elizabeth Miervaldis Lemon. So, on her very special day (which, per the save the date, should not be looked at ‘in a creepy way that perpetuates the idea that brides are virgins and women are property), we looked back at the many men in Liz's storied romantic past. And we ranked them, because assigning value to things is fun. Also, we didn't include Jack Donaghy, because, although they were married for a very short period of time, we wouldn't consider what they had romantic. It was no Meat Lovers Pizza. Now, on to the list:

[Spoiler Alert] Best Picture Nominees #3: 127 Hours

This movie is everything you think it is. Beautifully directed, extremely claustrophobic, and, yes, gross.  But it isn't gratuitously gross, unlike the following photo:

Aaagghh!

It's a shame this movie overshadows the other Cramped-Fest movie Buried, in which Ryan Reynolds is stuck in a coffin and there's some war stuff going on. Because that movie was good too.

James Franco is in this movie (to further prove that he is an omnipresent God) and is good. This movie would gain points if it added more Lizzie Caplan, who was great in Tableau favorite Party Down and is only in a few scenes in this movie. In fact, none of the supporting players get much to do, and they're basically there as eye candy and so people don't get bored with the protagonist. It's this year's Into the Wild, but more 'dank cave' and less 'beautiful Alaskan landscapes'.  Plus, there's a happier ending.

Also, Joan of Arcadia is there for a little while, mostly just to remind us she still exists. And her traveling pants look great!

Best Picture: Hell to the No
Good Movie: Yes
Score: 7/10