The Real Winners and Losers at the 2014 Golden Globes

Tina and Amy = The Best!

Aah, the Golden Globes: the Academy Awards' less attractive sister who has to work harder to prove her worth, the Elizabeth Bennett to the Oscars' Jane (literary references!).  And though the end result may be sweaty with effort, the Golden Globes this year really were fun,  hosted again  by the (always welcome) Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Now, many people will be wondering who won the awards during the evening, but that's not what this post is all about. No, this post is about the real winners and losers of the evening, the things and people that we'll be talking about long after Brooklyn Nine Nine is even on the air.

Woody Allen 'Makes Love' *shudder*

This is the first post I've written in over a month, and I have come back to ask you all a very serious question – how long has it been since you've ralphed? Like, when was the last time you had a seriously good vomit sesh in the back of a Ford Pinto, PT Cruiser, or whatever cool car the kids are throwing up in these days?

Well, if you're in the need of a good chuck (of the 'up' variety), then check out this Supercut

An American In France: Day 1

Tableau Your Mind is in France. We are out of our comfort zone. We are traveling in a country where English isn't the main language and the currency looks like it was watercolor-painted by children. We can't understand the woman on the train speakers for a completely different reason than why we can't understand the woman on the subway back home. We are lost.

When it's difficult to find one's bearings, it's important to look to the familiar - finding a McDonald's or a Cracker Barrel can help make a person feel grounded and safe. When I'm in France, it turns out nothing makes me feel safer than retreating to the films of France, to the

Quick Reviews: Best Picture Nominees

The Academy Awards are upon us. Starlets are picking out their dresses, Billy Crystal is getting his hair dyed and his forehead injected with some last-minute Botox, and we here at Tableau Your Mind have to review the nine films up for Best Picture. It’s been a strange road, mostly because there are so many movies that we did not want to see. Nothing shows the old, male WASP-iness of the Academy voters like this class of nominees. Almost no independent films made it on the list, veteran directors were rewarded for sub-par work, and schmaltz was praised above all. Unlike last year’s smorgasbord of impressive films, we are given this lackluster collection of nominees. Still, we’re sure we can get through these nominees and find a clear winner. Also, just for kicks, we’re going to include the movies that should have been nominated.

Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews!

Let's just get down to it. There are a lot of actually pretty decent movies out right now, and we here at Tableau Your Mind want to take you through our viewing catalog and let you know what you can miss and what movies should instantly make you want to hit up a movie theater. It's called Hit or Miss, and here we go:

Captain America doesn't like 'bullies'

Captain America: The First Avenger

Synopsis: The plot is mostly incidental, but basically Steve Rogers is a wimpy kid with a big heart and a lot of moxie who, when injected with a super serum, becomes the super buff Chris Evans Captain America. He then has to fight another super soldier, Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), who is also a mad scientist who stole a blue glowing cube (the Tesseract) from a dying Illuminati or something and is now using it to create super advance weapons. Also,