2015 Best Picture Nominees, Part 1 [Crazy White Men]

It's time again to look at the top films vying for the title of Best Picture at this year's Academy Awards. Like most years, the nominees are frighteningly white and maddeningly mediocre, but there are a few gems that have slipped into the running. Plus, no turd is without its merits.

So, I'm going to review the films up for the top prize, but I'm also going to look at some of the other movies that didn't quite make it.

First, let's turn our attention to the three nominated films that feature supremely angry, emotionally unstable white men:

This music video...

This music video is almost perfect. And it's a reminder that I still haven't seen Gone Girl yet.

It's My Birthday!

July 30th (TODAY) is my birthday. I was birthed many years ago on this very day. Since I haven't ever really written my name on this blog, you're probably trying to figure out which famous person I am: Lisa Kudrow or Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I could easily be either, but, if I'm being completely honest, I'm more similar to the picture to below than either of the aforementioned A-listers:

My photoshop, my selfie

Anyway, I thought I should do something special on this blog to commemorate occasion. So, in the same way that birthdays are spent recognizing hard work and regret, I thought it best to take a look back at the Tableau Your Mind articles that never were, the articles that never quite made it to print. Often, by the time I draw a picture or draft an article, the subject matter doesn't hold any interest. Often I just don't have an opinion on something, or I'm being lazy, or the world has forgotten the thing I set out to write about. Whatever the reason, I have, over the years of writing this blog, amassed a pretty large collection of useless pictures and article snippets. Here are some lost articles from the past year of my life:

The Academy Awards: The REAL Winners and Losers

It was a weird night of television, and, as we predicted and despite a Best Director snub, Argo won Best Picture at the Academy Awards last night/this morning, and most of the other people who were going to win Oscars won Oscars. Instead of looking at the winners and losers, we're going to look at the real winners and losers, the people/trends that really stood out during the ceremony:

Quick Reviews: Best Picture Nominees, Part 2 of 3

Happy Presidents' Day, readers of Tableau Your Mind (Tableauyers? Tableauniacs?).  We've been very very busy getting ready for the Oscars next Sunday, making sure that we have bought enough streamers and bean dip (Party Hint #536: One Can Never Have Too Much Bean Dip). We've also been looking back at the nine (9!) films nominated for Best Picture. For Valentine's Day, we reviewed Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, and Amour, which are the three films that most clearly focus on what the French call love, or at least they call it that when they're speaking English. We love a theme, so today, in honor of Presidents' Day, we'll be quickly revealing the three films that deal with American history: Lincoln, Argo, and Zero Dark Thirty:

2013 Golden Globes Wrap-Up

Well, the Golden Globes happened, and it was about as unruly and bonkers as a controlled night of self-flattery can be. Hayden Panettiere showed up and looked old, Daniel Day Lewis won and also did the E.T. finger, Anne Hathaway thanked someone for ‘the best string of yesterdays’ she has ever had, and Dog President stars Darcy St. Fudge and Damian Francisco were robbed. Tableau Your Mind is currently in India, so we enlisted the help of guest blogger Bro-sie the Riveter, who is in Seattle, so that we can represent the most easterly and westerly people watching the Golden Globes: