365 Days, 365 Movies: May

I'm not even half-way through the year, and I'm already growing tired of watching (roughly) a movie a day. While I can wile away several hours watching a single television show, watching a movie each day has begun to feel like a chore.

To help combat the rising tide of ennui, I decided to set a task for myself: pick an actor, and watch as many of his/her films as I can in one month. I immediately chose Reese Witherspoon, for many reasons. First, her movie Hot Pursuit came out in May, which meant that I had an excuse to go to a movie theater. Second, she is an actress that I really love, but I can't, for the life of me, pin down which of her performances inspire that devotion. And third, Sweet Home Alabama was playing on TV while I was trying to make up my mind, and I didn't want to subject myself to Patrick Dempsey movie marathon, partially because I'm still mad about his exit from Grey's Anatomy.

Anyway, I watched a bunch (12, technically) of Witherspoon hits this month, and I'll have more to say about that down the line. For now, though, stare and weep at my mastery of watching films.

Quick Reviews: 2014 Best Picture Nominees, Part 2

I thought I was a genius, back in November, when I decided to hold off reviewing some movies in case they were up for Best Picture. That way, I wouldn't have to spend 150 words making jokes about a serious movie that didn't even register with the Academy. 'That'll be future Tableau's problem,' I said, to no one, while laughing and consuming an unhealthy amount of lemon yogurt. And while that strategy did mean that I don't have to review Blue Jasmine or Saving Mr. Banks, it does mean that I have to churn out nine reviews in a fairly short amount of time. So, yeah, I'm pretty mad at myself.

Having already reviewed four of the nine movies up for Best Picture, it's now time to turn to the other five, including the two front-runners for the big win on Sunday. It's about to get EPIC...ally classy and thoughtful up in this b*tch:

My Pop Culture Weekend: Nov 9-10

When I wrote my first 'My Pop Culture Weekend' back in June (!), I sort of had the idea that they would be a regular event - a way to showcase just how much I watch in a given 48 hours. However, I was so busy watching movies and television and listening to music that I kind of forgot to write about it. My bad. Obviously, the only thing that could break me out of this pattern was to have the MOST EPIC POP CULTURE WEEKEND of all time, which is what I had this weekend.

In theory I would list all the things that I watched and listened to and talk about how I feel about 'em, but there was really one event that made this past weekend so legendary. So, here's a quick list of everything else I watched/listened to:

It's My Birthday!

July 30th (TODAY) is my birthday. I was birthed many years ago on this very day. Since I haven't ever really written my name on this blog, you're probably trying to figure out which famous person I am: Lisa Kudrow or Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I could easily be either, but, if I'm being completely honest, I'm more similar to the picture to below than either of the aforementioned A-listers:

My photoshop, my selfie

Anyway, I thought I should do something special on this blog to commemorate occasion. So, in the same way that birthdays are spent recognizing hard work and regret, I thought it best to take a look back at the Tableau Your Mind articles that never were, the articles that never quite made it to print. Often, by the time I draw a picture or draft an article, the subject matter doesn't hold any interest. Often I just don't have an opinion on something, or I'm being lazy, or the world has forgotten the thing I set out to write about. Whatever the reason, I have, over the years of writing this blog, amassed a pretty large collection of useless pictures and article snippets. Here are some lost articles from the past year of my life:

Justified's Graham Yost to Speak at 2012 NYTVF

(Image Source)

Attention people in the New York area! Graham Yost, creator and executive producer of FX's hit show Justified, will be the Keynote Speaker at the 2012 New York Television Festival. He will be speaking on Tuesday, October 23rd, and tickets are FREE!

You can reserve said tickets HERE

Yost is definitely a Tableau Your Mind favorite, not only for his work on Justified but also on the criminally ignored Raines and a little indie film called SPEED!!!!

Motha-flippin' Speed, y'all!

Get your tickets while you still can!

Quick Reviews: Best Picture Nominees

The Academy Awards are upon us. Starlets are picking out their dresses, Billy Crystal is getting his hair dyed and his forehead injected with some last-minute Botox, and we here at Tableau Your Mind have to review the nine films up for Best Picture. It’s been a strange road, mostly because there are so many movies that we did not want to see. Nothing shows the old, male WASP-iness of the Academy voters like this class of nominees. Almost no independent films made it on the list, veteran directors were rewarded for sub-par work, and schmaltz was praised above all. Unlike last year’s smorgasbord of impressive films, we are given this lackluster collection of nominees. Still, we’re sure we can get through these nominees and find a clear winner. Also, just for kicks, we’re going to include the movies that should have been nominated.

Slow Motion: Slow Your Roll

Guest Blogger Jennifer Love Bacon is as mad as hell, 

and she's not going to take it anymore!

I recently saw Happythankyoumoreplease, and it was good – I totally recommend it. I left with a smile, whatever.

However, I have a bone to pick with Happythankyoumoreplease. In the movie, when the protagonist first lays eyes on his soon-to-be love interest, the girl’s motions are suddenly slowed – way down. This isn’t Never Been Kissed! I was under the impression that this movie was set in the real world.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good hair-blowing-in-the-wind-confused-eye-contact-half-smile slow motion entrance as much as the next person, but only when and where it’s warranted. Slow motion meet-cutes are great for high school flicks and bubble-gum-pop romantic