Liz Lemon's Relationships: A List [30 Rock]

Liz Lemon and her Many Men

Over the past seven seasons of 30 Rock, we've watched as Liz Lemon has worked to have it all: the perfect job, a great apartment, a plant/baby, and a man to share all of those things. And we have also watched as she has failed to get any of the things she wanted (baby steps, Liz). Then, beginning in Season 6, things started to line up for old Liz Lemon. She began renovations on her apartment, she started talking about babies, and she found someone that accepted all of her crazy. That man was Criss Chros, and tonight she’s going to make an honest man out of him and put a ring on it.

We don't know if this road will end in happiness or in failure (we assume a mixture of both), but we do know that the long journey to the altar/courthouse has included its fair share of romantic roadblocks for Elizabeth Miervaldis Lemon. So, on her very special day (which, per the save the date, should not be looked at ‘in a creepy way that perpetuates the idea that brides are virgins and women are property), we looked back at the many men in Liz's storied romantic past. And we ranked them, because assigning value to things is fun. Also, we didn't include Jack Donaghy, because, although they were married for a very short period of time, we wouldn't consider what they had romantic. It was no Meat Lovers Pizza. Now, on to the list:

Mr. Feeny Nip Slip and other Top Searches

One of the best things about having a blog is being able to see what random search words get people to your site. That’s right, thanks to Google Analytics we can see what search words bring people here, and it’s not always pretty. Let’s just say that it’s amazing how the word ‘fluids’ can be easily combined with other words to make them sound incredibly NSFW.

Tableau Your Mind is a judgment free zone (except when we judge and analyze elements of pop culture) so we thought that it would be a good idea to combine all the most popular searches into one photo, because that's what people were clamoring for. Below, check out the seven most-searched items that brought people to this blog (along with links to the pages that they presumably brought people to). Then, click through for one of the most blog-search friendly images ever!

1. Gotye (Also: Gotye Pronunciation)
2. Mr. Feeny Boy Meets World (Also Popular: Mr Feeny and Mr. Feeny)
3. Nip Slip (Also Popular: Emily VanCamp Nip Slip, Julia Louis-Dreyfus Nip Slip)
4. Hipster Baby (Also Popular: Hipster, Hipster Boner)
5. Harry Potter (Also Popular: Harry Plotter)
6. Steve Martin Banjo (Also Popular: Steve Martin)
7. Voldemort (Also Popular: Voldemort Sad, Sad Vodemort, Hipster Voldemort)

Photo is slightly NSFW, but it's a cartoon, so it's totally fine:

Steve Martin: Banjo Playin' Fool

This next song is called "Angry Birds: Level 7"

I just got back from seeing Steve Martin at Joe's Pub, playing Bluegrass Banjo with The Steep Canyon Rangers, and before you can cough "The Return of Bruno" suggestively into your hand, let me just say that it was completely amazeballs. Martin has been playing banjo for a quite a while, and this is not his first CD release, but for some reason I have always blocked that part of his career from entering my conscious thought.  He was Steve Martin: Comedian and Steve Martin: Author, but Steve Martin: Banjoist was not on the docket. Apparently, I was missing out. Rather than go point-by-point through the whole show, let me just point out a few of the best bits: