Angelina Jolie Engaged to Her Own Right Leg

Engagement Ring Revealed
(Click to Make Bigger)

This weekend, Angelina Jolie shocked the world when she showed up to a public event with a sizable ring on a very important finger. Yes, Angelina Jolie is engaged, but the real news is that her affianced is not, as was previously reported, Brad Pitt. No, Angelina Jolie is engaged to her very own Right Leg.

Angelina and her Right Leg have had a quick and very public love affair. Various accounts from close friends and stalkers confirm that the relationship with Right Leg (for simplicity’s sake, RL) began before RL had even broken up with his previous paramour, Left Leg. With Angelina Jolie’s rapidly increasing weight loss, RL and Left Leg were growing farther and farther apart, but it wasn’t until the Oscars this year when the split was made public, with RL stepping into the spotlight and leaving Left Leg largely in the dark. Though not their first public appearance together, this was the first time that RL and Jolie had

Gotye: A Pronunciation Guide

Belgian-Australian singer-songwriter Gotye has been singing/song-writing for a while, but he's only recently achieved international success.  His song 'Somebody That I Used to Know' off his album Making Mirrors has completely blown up. I mean, Matthew Bomer even sang it on Glee. As Madonna and Sting will tell you, that's the only true marker of success musicians have left.

Still, despite is success, his name remains frustratingly difficult to pronounce. Damn you, Belgian-Australians!!! Not knowing how to correctly pronounce someone's name can be so irksome, which one of our bloggers learned first-hand when he met Tahmoh Penikett recently. Now, we here at Tableau Your Mind are a friendly sort, and we want to keep you from frustration (and prevent another 'Bon Iver' situation come next year's Grammys). So, here are a few visual representations of how to pronounce 'Gotye' and an example of how to pronounce it incorrectly, just for fun:

New Column Alert – Hard to Watch!

Eau De La Trine

Guest blogger Eau De La Trine takes one for the team, reviewing movies that are ‘hard to watch’ so that you don't have to.

Hello, Internet. In this new review series, I'll be tackling films with cringe-worthy subject matter and uncomfortable themes. Offensive language and explicit content? Yeah, I'll watch that. Craptastic violence? Sexual perversity? You Betcha! Overuse of experimental film devices? Give it here.

“Why,” you ask? Because, frankly, watching uncomfortable movies is uncomfortable, and no one wants to suffer through that. Take these awkward true-life scenarios from my life, which I hope to spare you from:

On dating:

Awkward college boy:  Sup, LaTrine? So you're, like, a college sophomore and it's painfully obvious you've never been on a date before. Wanna go to the movies?

Me:  Fer sure, you're hot. Want to see the new Todd Solondz movie, because that's the only pretentious indie film playing right now at the Knoxville Megaplex, and you look pretty 'artsy' or whatever? 

Come to realize 20 minutes into my very first date that the movie I've carelessly selected,

Hit Or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 2!

Sometimes it's difficult to get through a full movie review, so we here at Tableau Your Mind wanted to offer you the quickest possible insights into some of the movies playing at the multiplexes this week and ask a simple question: should you HIT the movie theater to see this movie, or is is more of a MISS?

Wanderlust

Displaced by the economy and short-sighted real estate decisions, a married couple (Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, who anchor the film admirably) decides to spend some time in a commune in order to figure out their lives. David Wain and Ken Marino's script is funny, but it's certainly less weird and ballsy than their previous films. Especially given the subject matter, the two don't go far enough into the absurd. The only real fun is seeing Wain, Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter (longtime collaborators on too many amazing projects to list) square off as news anchors in two throwaway scenes that are delightful and absurd. The film needs more of that. It is still very funny, and Ken Marino and Michaela Watkins, as Rudd's brother and sister-in-law, are great and steal the few scenes

Obsession of the Week: Ethan Lipton's 'No Place to Go'

We've thought long and hard about what Tableau Your Mind's first official 'Obsession of the Week.' Jennifer Garner and her adorable children? News on the Arrested Development movie? Anything to do with Judy Greer or Michaela Watkins?  But then we landed on it - Ethan Lipton's amazing show 'No Place to Go,' which is playing for six more performances at Joe's Pub at the Public Theater through April 8th. We were lucky enough to see the show in its first incarnation as part of Joe's Pub's New York Voices series in November, and the current version, which is very similar and has been running for almost a month, is even more enjoyable and tightly produced (The most marked difference is that the lighting cues are a bit more dramatic). Lipton has a rare gift of making the personal universal and the universal deeply personal (that sounds really cornball, but it's true). It is in your best interest to see this show - it's fantastic. Here is a reposting of part of that original review:


...Lipton alone has the rare ability to come off curmudgeonly and honest, hilarious and sad, like a Charades-era Walter Matthau. He's dark and thoughtful and whimsical to boot.

The piece, titled No Place To Go, is a thinly-veiled musical satire of America's current political and social situation. Ethan (the character?) is dismayed to learn that his job is being outsourced. He's saddened, not solely because his job is relocating, but because the

Favorite TV Moments: Law & Order Edition

Law & Order was once a tent pole for NBC. It was always there and often provided workplaces, homes, and schools with memorable water cooler moments (or, in the case of the homes and schools, kitchen and juice break moments). However, nothing was quite as memorable as the WTF moment when ADA Serena Southerlyn (played by

Film Review: The Hunger Games

Katniss learns Peeta's 'True' Feelings

We can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. The Hunger Games is not a bad movie. In fact, it’s a rather good movie. It's not going to please everyone - fans of the book series on which it is based have been feverish in their criticism of the film from the moment it was announced,

Film Review: 21 Jump Street

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Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I don't know much about the history of St. Patrick's Day. I grew up in a predominately Swiss-German area, so all we celebrated in March was Internationaler Frauentag and Tag Der Kranken.  Still, from my love of television, I know that it has something to do with snakes, Ireland, The Kennedys, Catholicism, and green water in the Chicago River (yum?). 

So, Happy St. Patrick's Day to all you Irish snake-haters and Catholic, green water lovers! 

Today is a day to celebrate!

Tableau Your Mind is Back!!!

Why were we gone? Why are we back?

Tableau Your Mind has been gone for about a month, and we are now back. With a vengeance. All we can say is that, after the Oscars, we were wiped out. We really didn't think that something so amazing (our favorite night of television) could be that boring, and we sat through Wagner's Ring Cycle (Highbrow Reference!). Actually, every major pop culture