Jennifer Lawrence Leaves X-Men, Creating a Giant, Mystique-sized Hole

Apparently Jennifer Lawrence is leaving the current X-Men franchise after the next movie (X-Men: Apocalypse). It definitely makes sense. Even with an all-star cast, Lawrence is too big a star to be just one part of a larger machine. She's Katniss freakin' Everdeen. Plus, and I hate to say this, she hasn't really been that good in the two X-Men films she's been in. She's a little Sleepytime Tea. Even Rebecca Romijn brings more to the part.

So, with Lawrence on her way out, we turn to dream casting. Mystique is such an incredible character, and you want someone that can act through makeup and prosthetics to give a commanding performance. And I only know one person who can do that, and it's analrapist-turned-actor Tobias Onyango Fünke, from Arrested Development:

Now, I know what you're thinking: 

Cinderella? More like Seen-it-derella!

This weekend, we welcome the latest in a long series of Cinderella movies: Disney's Cinderella, a live-action adaptation of the 1950 Disney film of the same name. Like most film adaptations of this classic tale, this newest Cinderella boasts an impressive cast and a substantial budget. Also, like most adaptations, it exists for no reason.

The tale of Cinderella has been told and retold countless times through generations, passing through oral tradition and written word for centuries. The story shifts and changes depending on who is telling it (and what message they want to impart), with the Brothers Grimm favoring a three three-day ball, a magical tree, and feet mutilation and Perrault favoring a glass slipper and fairy godmother. The core of the story is about a young girl being misunderstood, abused, and unwanted despite her many attempts to be anything but, and the prince who finally sees her for who she really is. It's a pretty simple tale, which makes it easy to adapt. Need to make it a morality play about the joys of being dutiful and subservient? Cinderella's got you covered. Want it to be a story about making your own decisions and self-empowerment? Cinderella's your gal. 

So many movies have been made with Cinderella at the center, but which adaptation is the best?  Let's take a look. For this incredibly scientific study, I'll be focusing on Disney's Cinderella (1950), Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997), Ever After (1998), A Cinderella Story (2004), Ella Enchanted (2004), and Sondheim's Into the Woods (2014), because they're the ones I like. Sorry, CinderFella.

365 Days, 365 Movies: February

This year, I made a resolution to keep track of everything I watch and listen to: movies, television, podcasts, live performances, etc. I also resolved to watch 365 different movies over the course of the calendar year. After January, I realized that it won't be easy, it won't be pretty, but, godammit, somebody needs to do it.

February was a big one, with The Oscars and the Series Finale of Parks and Recreation. But those two events didn't make up the entirety of my month. Not hardly. Without further ado, I present all of the pop culture I consumed in February of 2015. Don't judge me; I'm actually proud of this: