Hundreds of Attractive Men Injured or Dead as Channing Tatum Crowned Sexiest Man Alive

Channing Tatum Sexily Exits the Arena, Triumphant

In a scene reminiscent of Lord of the Flies or The Hunger Games, but with decidedly more body oil, Channing Tatum emerged from the People Magazine Sexiest Man-nasium this morning triumphant, the head of Bradley Cooper in his hands and the teeth of his victims adorning his neck.

The battle royale for the crown began a few weeks ago, and soon the dead bodies were too attractive and numerous to fathom. Tatum, who many felt was an underdog in the competition, soon rose in esteem with his affable nature. His tactic of luring victims in with his ease and confidence and then killing them with quick fighting maneuvers, which could only be described as an

Channing Tatum is People's Sexiest Man Alive

The people of People have spoken! With all of the other sexy men dead by his hands, Channing Tatum claims the title of sexiest living human male.

We have little-to-no opinion about this, except to say that we really enjoyed his work in 21 Jump Street and that People magazine seems to be going for 'relatable' lately when they pick the winners. Bradley Cooper, last year's victor, is a nice fellow, sure, and we loved him in Alias, but by his own admission he probably wasn't the sexiest man alive. Now that we have mourned his death and crowned 'everyman' Channing Tatum the sexiest man alive, who will be next? Al from Home Improvement? DJ Jazzy Jeff? Your guess is as good as ours.

Still, congratulations Chan! Tonight we drink the blood of your slaughtered foes in honor of you.

Huzzah!

Check out some Channing articles on Tableau Your Mind HERE, and add your pics for Sexiest Man ALIVE (Sorry, Bertolt Brecht) in the comments below!

Film Review: Skyfall

I've been waiting a long time for this. It's time to review Skyfall!

Full disclosure here: My namesake is very closely tied to the James Bond franchise and my mother and father raised me to love all things Bond, so I may not be the most objective reviewer. So, yes, my real name is PussyGalore, and, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

Bond and Q deal with dangerous numbers

Let’s get some plot out of the way first. Basically, a mysterious company steals a list of all of the NATO operatives currently undercover in terrorist cells across the world from MI6. What they plan to do with it in anyone’s guess, but it sets up the action, the betrayal, and the butt-kickery that follows. If you've heard this plot before, it’s because it’s basically the set-up to the first Mission: Impossible movie. However, where the plot goes from the set-up in Istanbul is completely different. I don’t want to spoil any of the plot, since figuring it out is half the fun. Even the title of the movie is mysterious – what exactly is Skyfall? Is it a mission, a person, the feeling one gets while bungee jumping? It could be all manner of things, and the fun and interest is in the journey of

Christina Ricci on The Good Wife

Tableau Your Minders!

John Lutz and Christna Ricci spice up The Good Wife

Christina Ricci, who is a totally normal-looking person and not a grown-up Bratz doll, is going to be on The Good Wife tonight. And she's going to be a comedian (or comedienne, if you're Joy Behar) embroiled in some sort of shocking television imbroglio that might land her in the slammer!

That's right, it's time for the semi-annual fun episode of The Good Wife, where serious plotlines and murderous ex-husbands are thrown out the window for a good old-fashioned chuckle fest. Of course, this also means that something serious will also probably happen near the end of the episode to shock you and move the show in a completely new direction. We know this because it is the middle of

Make Sure to Text In Your Vote, America

Roseanne for America

So, it turns out there's an election happening today, and Americans can take time out of their busy schedules to vote for the next President of the United States.

Normally, we love shoving our opinions in your faces. However, while we know a lot about television and film, we really know bupkis about politics. So, vote for whomever you want. From what P. Diddy and Paris Hilton told us eight years ago, it's really important that you vote.

We hear Roseanne Barr is running. We loved her in Roseanne, and the show still held up when we re-watched the whole series on Netflix last year. So maybe vote for her. Or, you could vote for one of the candidates who hasn't breathed new life into the working-class sitcom, who hasn't starred in a movie with Meryl Streep, or who hasn't created a show with a testicles pun, like Obama or Romney. The choice is yours, America.

Just vote. It'd mean a lot to us.

Paid for by the Committee to Re-Elect President Josiah Bartlet.

Boy Meets World Meets Sequel

The Matthews Family is BACK!

At Tableau Your Mind, we are unabashed fans of many things: 30 Rock, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Joss Whedon, Helena Bonham Carter, and tons of other pop culture touchstones. One thing we haven't been quite as vocal about is our love of Boy Meets World, the incredible 90s sitcom that taught us so many life lessons during our childhood.

Well, we were checking the ol' newswire on Saturday and stumbled upon the announcement that a new Boy Meets World television show is in the works. This sequel is being developed by the Disney Channel and will focus on the life of Cory and Topanga's pre-teen daughter as she learns the many life lessons that Cory himself learned years ago. It's going to be called Girl Meets World, people.

We are 100% psyched about this news, not only because we are fans of the whole original cast, but also because the world is crying out for the kind of earnestness, virtuosity, and silliness that the original show exhibited. It was like the 90s version of iCarly, and the world needs more shows like iCarly.

When we heard the news that the show was being sequelized (sequined?), we were actually re-watching Boy Meets World anyway, due to a series of posts we are working on tentatively called "Sassy Mr. Feeny." So, it suffices to say that we are really looking forward to this. Here's hoping that Danielle Fishel, Ben Savage, William Daniels, Rider Strong, and Will Friedle aren't too busy to be on the show.

Huzzah! This is, unequivocally, amazing news! Rejoice in your own special way. We'll be doing Feeny calls until the cows come home.

Halloween Costumes For The Pop-Culturally Savvy

Hello Tableau Your Minders,

It's been a while since this blog has seen any content. I've been busy with work, busy with life, and now I'm busily trying to survive Hurricane Sandy and all that the Frankenstorm has to offer.  But I shouldn't be taking that out on you. When parents fight, the children suffer, and when bloggers are preoccupied, the readers suffer. And on this spookiest of days, with branches rapping against my door and rain beating tirelessly against my windows, we turn to Halloween.

Halloween has always held a special place in my heart. I Trick-or-Treated for far more years than any child should. My costumes were often overly complicated and without fans. My stint as a cow hell-bent on the humans who'd done his family wrong was met with a trip to Principal Korn's office and mixed reaction from my Kindergarten class. My attempt at wry sports humor was tepidly accepted when I went door to door as a frostbitten, zombie Packers fan. And, in college, when I went as a Drug Attic (complete with needles, spiders, some siding, and an old rug), the general consensus was that I was trying too hard.

Well, I don't want you to be stuck in my situation, where high-mindedness gets in the way of candy, drunkenness, and whatever other debauchery passes your way.  So, here is a list of pop-culture costumes that are sure to delight, and they're simple enough that they won't confuse the random drunken lay-person who stumbles across your path:

Point/Counter Point: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Back Together

They are back together, apparently

Well, it's semi-official: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are back together, just in time to renew our faith in love. Or, they are back together just in time to promote The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part II.  Is it true love or a marketing ploy? To find out, I, the main blogger here at Tableau Your Mind, am bringing back one of the most popular segments on the blog. That's right; it's time for a little Point/Counter Point with Guest Blogger Jennifer Love Bacon:

Let's hear Opening Statements:

Justified's Graham Yost to Speak at 2012 NYTVF

(Image Source)

Attention people in the New York area! Graham Yost, creator and executive producer of FX's hit show Justified, will be the Keynote Speaker at the 2012 New York Television Festival. He will be speaking on Tuesday, October 23rd, and tickets are FREE!

You can reserve said tickets HERE

Yost is definitely a Tableau Your Mind favorite, not only for his work on Justified but also on the criminally ignored Raines and a little indie film called SPEED!!!!

Motha-flippin' Speed, y'all!

Get your tickets while you still can!

30 Rock Returns Tonight!

The final season of 30 Rock begins tonight at 8/7c on NBC!

You definitely want to go to there.

And you should definitely dress up for the occasion:

Also, you definitely want to check out all of 

Tableau Your Mind's 30 Rock coverage

which can be found HERE.

That is all.