Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 10 – FEMINISM!

Terminator: Stigmata

Watching Terminator: Genisys this weekend, I was perplexed at what was on the screen. I haven't really seen the first Terminator films (I saw Terminator Salvation for HBC reasons), but Sarah Connor is supposed to be one of the strongest female characters in film history. Yet, throughout the movie, her only purpose is to be the eventual mother of John Connor. Then, from there on out, he does the heavy lifting as the leader of the war against the machines. Is she the savior or merely the vessel for the savior? Is she completely defined by her ability to give birth, or can she be the master of her own fate?

Now, this problem of predestination is something that plagues time travel movies regardless of the gender of the lead, but the plight of Sarah Connor made me think more about female representation in film more generally. Not just the number of women on screen, but also how their presence shapes the narrative.

So, for this edition of Hit or Miss, I thought it best to look at the current top-grossing, female-starring movies at the box office (not counting Mad Max: Fury Road, which I loved and already reviewed). Forthwith are my reviews of the movies, paying special attention to the ladies therein:

'Jurassic World' Comic

I haven't gotten up the energy to write a review of Jurassic World.
So, I drew a comic instead:

365 Days, 365 Movies: May

I'm not even half-way through the year, and I'm already growing tired of watching (roughly) a movie a day. While I can wile away several hours watching a single television show, watching a movie each day has begun to feel like a chore.

To help combat the rising tide of ennui, I decided to set a task for myself: pick an actor, and watch as many of his/her films as I can in one month. I immediately chose Reese Witherspoon, for many reasons. First, her movie Hot Pursuit came out in May, which meant that I had an excuse to go to a movie theater. Second, she is an actress that I really love, but I can't, for the life of me, pin down which of her performances inspire that devotion. And third, Sweet Home Alabama was playing on TV while I was trying to make up my mind, and I didn't want to subject myself to Patrick Dempsey movie marathon, partially because I'm still mad about his exit from Grey's Anatomy.

Anyway, I watched a bunch (12, technically) of Witherspoon hits this month, and I'll have more to say about that down the line. For now, though, stare and weep at my mastery of watching films.

Hit or Miss: Quick Movie Reviews 9: Procrastinator Edition

Hello there, dear readers. I haven't written a legit blog post in almost two months, and the ratio of movies I've seen vs. movies I've reviews has gotten impressively large. The main reason behind that is that I was a producer on a television series for most of April and May, which meant most of my free time was spent thinking about one specific TV show rather than writing about a myriad TV shows and movies.  To rectify that, I present condensed reviews of many of the recent releases I've imbibed. Should you HIT the theater to watch them, or maybe MISS them entirely. The only way to know is to read on!!

Age of Adaline

Starring: Blake Lively, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn, and Harrison Ford

Time goes by so slowly
for those who wait.

The Story: After a car crash and a freak electrocution, Adaline (Lively) is dismayed to find out that she can't age.  Afraid of what the government might do to her if they find out, she continually changes her identity and runs away from any kind of attachment. Her only confidant is her daughter (Ellen Burstyn), who Adaline must watch age while she stays the same.

Pros: It's an interesting story, and it's well-acted. Blake Lively convincingly portrays a 100+ year-old in a 20-something body.

Cons: The narration is clunky and unnecessary, and the film's attempts to scientifically explain Adaline's condition only makes her condition seem even more ludicrous. And, despite glimpses of her past, the story stays mostly in the present, which deprives the audience of seeing Adaline as she makes her way through life in the 1900s. Instead, we watch a tepid love story between two very attractive people, one of whom has a secret. Oooooo.

Consensus: This movie is totally worth a $1 rental in Redbox, and it's not a bad way to spend two hours if you can't find anything good on Netflix. Still, it's totally MISS-able in theaters.

365 Days, 365 Movies: April

I blogged approximately zero times in the last month, partially because I was busy with work and partially because I didn't really want to. Sure, I want to get around to talking about Daredevil and Furious 7, but I also don't want to do those things. Apathy, it has taken over.

I still managed to watch a crap load of movies and television, though:

MOVIES

26 28 Films in March, 110 112 Total in 2015

(10 8 MOVIES BEHIND SCHEDULE!!!)

New Releases are Bolded:

365 Days, 365 Movies: March

I watched She's the Man again. Still awesome.

So, I'm working to watch 365 movies this year, and I'm also keeping track of all the television (and other pop culture) that I consume. As previously mentioned, my attentions have been elsewhere for the month of March, and I definitely relaxed in my movie watching as a result. If I hadn't watched as many Cinderella movies as I could get my hands on, I would really be in trouble. More than anything. what really suffered was my ability to read:

My Mom and I Review Some Movies and TV Shows

There's been a new addition to the Tableau family (that's a link to a generic baby, in case you don't know what a baby looks like), which means that, over the last month, my mother has been in my neck of the woods way more often than usual. And, since I don't really know how to communicate with people without talking about movies and television, my mom and I have been consuming a lot of pop culture together.  Here's a breakdown of some of the fluff we imbibed:

Cinderella (2015)

This live action adaptation of Disney's classic film adds some modern touches and nixes the songs.

Mom: The transformation scenes are amazing.

Tableau: When Cinderella and her mice and lizards are magically changed in time for the ball?

M: Yep. Compared to the other movies, you could actually see the changes happening. You can see the animals morphing into their human/horse counterparts, yet they still maintain elements of their original features. The lizards, especially.

T: The transformations scenes are both really beautiful, and Helena Bonham Carter as The Fairy Godmother is a lot of fun. She is certainly having a good time.

M: Cate Blanchett, too. She's over-acting in the best way. I also like that they show more of Cinderella with her mom (Hayley Atwell). 

T: It helps strengthen her character, and it helps to sell the idea that Cinderella would stay with her stepmother after her mother and father die, since her mother was all about being kind and courageous. How about Cinderella (Lily James) and Prince Charming (Richard Madden)? Do you buy their romance?

M: Meh. They are okay. Nothing to write home about.

Jennifer Lawrence Leaves X-Men, Creating a Giant, Mystique-sized Hole

Apparently Jennifer Lawrence is leaving the current X-Men franchise after the next movie (X-Men: Apocalypse). It definitely makes sense. Even with an all-star cast, Lawrence is too big a star to be just one part of a larger machine. She's Katniss freakin' Everdeen. Plus, and I hate to say this, she hasn't really been that good in the two X-Men films she's been in. She's a little Sleepytime Tea. Even Rebecca Romijn brings more to the part.

So, with Lawrence on her way out, we turn to dream casting. Mystique is such an incredible character, and you want someone that can act through makeup and prosthetics to give a commanding performance. And I only know one person who can do that, and it's analrapist-turned-actor Tobias Onyango Fünke, from Arrested Development:

Now, I know what you're thinking: 

Cinderella? More like Seen-it-derella!

This weekend, we welcome the latest in a long series of Cinderella movies: Disney's Cinderella, a live-action adaptation of the 1950 Disney film of the same name. Like most film adaptations of this classic tale, this newest Cinderella boasts an impressive cast and a substantial budget. Also, like most adaptations, it exists for no reason.

The tale of Cinderella has been told and retold countless times through generations, passing through oral tradition and written word for centuries. The story shifts and changes depending on who is telling it (and what message they want to impart), with the Brothers Grimm favoring a three three-day ball, a magical tree, and feet mutilation and Perrault favoring a glass slipper and fairy godmother. The core of the story is about a young girl being misunderstood, abused, and unwanted despite her many attempts to be anything but, and the prince who finally sees her for who she really is. It's a pretty simple tale, which makes it easy to adapt. Need to make it a morality play about the joys of being dutiful and subservient? Cinderella's got you covered. Want it to be a story about making your own decisions and self-empowerment? Cinderella's your gal. 

So many movies have been made with Cinderella at the center, but which adaptation is the best?  Let's take a look. For this incredibly scientific study, I'll be focusing on Disney's Cinderella (1950), Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997), Ever After (1998), A Cinderella Story (2004), Ella Enchanted (2004), and Sondheim's Into the Woods (2014), because they're the ones I like. Sorry, CinderFella.

365 Days, 365 Movies: February

This year, I made a resolution to keep track of everything I watch and listen to: movies, television, podcasts, live performances, etc. I also resolved to watch 365 different movies over the course of the calendar year. After January, I realized that it won't be easy, it won't be pretty, but, godammit, somebody needs to do it.

February was a big one, with The Oscars and the Series Finale of Parks and Recreation. But those two events didn't make up the entirety of my month. Not hardly. Without further ado, I present all of the pop culture I consumed in February of 2015. Don't judge me; I'm actually proud of this: